The party had just started picking tone.... I wanted to run away!

Looking for free advice – Talk to a married woman!


Is marriage on your mind?
Is marriage on your mind?

The scene – Girl in early twenties meets Married Lady in mid-twenties:

This grave incident took place when I was in my early twenties and seemingly young. I happened to accidentally bump into a peer at a party that hadn’t picked tone yet. She had then been married for a couple of years. The usual ‘hi’, ‘how are you’ and a few minutes into the conversation left her gasping for answers to extract the reason why marriage was not on my cards. Down came crashing my weekend mood, party fever simmered to severe lows and my feet hoped to be detached to run out of sight as fast as they could. Was there any escape? I looked all around. Wish I had been bolder then to snap her off right when she started the one-way discussion.

The party had just started picking tone.... I wanted to run away!
The party had just started picking tone but I wanted to run away!

The married woman and the free-flow:  

Talk to a married woman for ten minutes and you’ll end up listening to one or more of these dialogues. Let me tell you these words ooze out of her mouth as easily as she exclaims ‘awww’ on seeing something adorable!

The format below is in a question-answer style. While the questions refer to the ones put up by most married women, the answers are ideal ones that should be said out loud and not just mumbled in your mind.

The dialogues monologues:

  • How old are you?
  • Tell her you are in your late twenties and get ready to swoop out your umbrella for she is gonna shower you with all the advice and ‘gyan’ in the world.
  • Are you looking for an arranged marriage or love marriage?
  • Like I know I am going to fall in love in about fifteen days from now, or break up with my boyfriend only to end up in an arranged marriage. Sorry, I can’t predict right now!
  • When do you plan to get married?
  • Maybe after two years, maybe when I turn 40, or better yet maybe NEVER!
  • If you don’t get married now, how will you have babies at the right age? The clock is ticking!
  • Well so is mine and the party is taking shape so let me go! Who’s even thinking about a baby right now, forget babies – baby in its plural form! Yikes!
  • Ok bye, remember what I told you. Don’t think of it as free advice. I’m genuinely concerned!
  • Yeah right! I have my folks to be genuinely concerned about me and they are not even bothered about my marriage right now. Did you say you are not giving free advice? (Laugh and say:) Lady, you just did! (Smile, wave, walk away…)

Findings and inference:

At the end of the above life-shaking conversation you will be able to understand that:

  • Age is ‘NOT’ merely a number
  • Getting married is important to stay alive and ‘survive’ in your society
  • Married women are women who have ‘conquered’ the world (just by getting married)
  • Marriage doesn’t load you with responsibilities, it just plays with your ‘psychological orientation’
  • Ageing is directly proportional to marriage which in turn is proportional to having babies. Remember the ‘clock is still ticking’ somewhere…

After encountering the earth-shattering monologue with the married woman, you must understand that by the time you reach your twenties you should be clear of:

  • Your goal in life: To get married
  • Your vision in life: Looking out for THE one
  • Your mission in life: To keep your folks and family happy
  • Your target: Finding the right guy
  • Accomplishment: To get married and plant the ‘marriage’ bug in the wandering minds of those who refuse to get married on “TIME”
I fill the pages of my life.. no one else does!
I fill the pages of my life.. no one else does!

Lyf&Spice concludes:   

  • Get married when you WANT to, IF you want to; and not when you HAVE to
  • There is no right time to get married; you should get married only when you are genuinely ready
  • Marriage doesn’t change you in any way, it changes you only if YOU make those unnecessary amendments of fitting into the “Oh, now I am married” category
  • Next time someone gives you free advice, tell them “You’re good at it, you should charge for it”.
  • Do what you want to do; the next time you even sense you’re gonna have such an ambush, switch paths or fake a headache. Kindly walk away or better yet RUN… 😉

That’s all folks!! Have you had such encounters? I’d love to know…

This blog post originally appeared on Lyf&Spice

Pssst…. This is my first #BlogAlong party and I’m really excited! This post is a part of the monthly link-up 3 Girls and a #BlogAlong hosted by 3 cool bloggers Pooja (thanks for the invite),   Shruti and UpasnaSince it was an ‘Open House’, I thought of blurting my heart out… Been there, done that, avoided the convo, ran away several times… to finally get married when I “wanted” to! 😉

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6 thoughts on “Looking for free advice – Talk to a married woman!

  1. Haha… I know what you mean… dunno why everyone around us is hell bent on planning our life!! They need to sort theirs first 😉 n yes, there is no specific age to get married indeed!


  2. Lol. Like you, I was never in a hurry to get married. It wasn’t in my plan whatsoever nor was it my goal in life. I got married at the age of 30, after 5 years of being a in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with my husband and even then, I don’t think there is a specific age that one MUST get married.

    Well imagine what I’m going through now, a year after being married to the husband with no plans of having a kid yet. I HAVE TO HAVE A BABY NOW according to strangers who suddenly became an expert of my uterus. :p


  3. Haha… while most people just ask out of concern, sometimes you just don’t need that, esp coming from people you don’t
    know too well…. hope u had a gud trip 🙂
    Thanks for reading…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So interesting! When I was traveling in India a lot of people also asked me if I was married (since, in addition, I was traveling alone!). I did not dare say I’m 31 and have no husband nor children…my clock must be late 😉
    Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lol… yeah v have had such encounters way too many times… the society is never at peace! It’s about giving a damn… learnt the hard way though… lol
    Nah! M sure you don’t go around giving free advice 🙂 hopefully this post ll get others thinkin 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Haha!! Such a funny post.. and SOOOOO true!!! We’ve all had these experiences not once, not twice, but many many times over. You’d think that it’d get over when you got married.. ah hah! Sorry to burst your bubble… it’s baby time! You’re officially open for the baby making business! Circle of life I guess…
    This is sort of got me thinking.. now that I’m married.. do I go around giving free advise??!!?? I wonder………………….

    Liked by 1 person

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