R.I.P. Voice Calls!!!
VC (Video-Calls) and compulsions:
The mobile era is dominated by the video calling feature, which is either present in voice chatting apps or about to be introduced soon enough. Oh how I hate video calls! My phone keeps ringing and pinging as it is. The last thing I want on earth is to attend to video calls and video chats all day. Come a weekend and it’s time for all your family members and friends to connect with you – which is absolutely fine, but just to see your face once – oh not really fine with me.
“Incoming call” – I smirk! Yes, it’s a Sunday. That dreaded day of the week labelled as ‘video calling day’, whoever gave that tag! I move away from my visible territory while my hubby attends the call. No, I’m not an escapist. Why would I otherwise wanna hide my not so distorted face? That’s coz I’m just not ready! It’s way too early in the morning fellas and I haven’t even jumped out of bed! I might be in my night pyjamas and scrunchie for all I care! Nah-ah, haven’t brushed my teeth yet, haven’t washed my sore eyes, thanks to sleep deprivation as I forget to silence my ringer and my phone kept buzzing all night. To hell with the notifications tab! Why can’t there be an auto-detect ‘owner in deep sleep’ mode?!
Reasons for having a VC:
- I’m missing you honey: If you are, then take the next flight back.
- I just wanted to see your face: I’ll send a picture or selfie. Will that work? J
- I wanted to talk to you: Well then, please use the voice-call feature.
- Random: Let’s VC! Really, is there a need?
Categorization of people based on VC:
- VC adopters: The ones who clearly adopt and adapt to the VC feature and are content with it.
- VC runners: Those who stare at the phone for a few seconds, do not silence the ringer, get up and run away quietly.
- VC athletes: The category that zooms and vanishes out of sight the moment their phone starts ringing from an incoming VC.
- VC silencers: Those who silence the ringer the second their phone starts ringing.
- VC anticipators: They are the clever ones who put their phones away a few minutes before an anticipated call at a suspected time.
Video calls are a clear intrusion of privacy if made a practice. There are times when you just cannot or do not want to answer a VC. Turn it into a voice-call and you’ll gladly answer.
What make VCs privacy-intruders?
- Not a good time to video-chat: What if I’m finishing up my household chores in the morning, with the dust cloth on my shoulder, with some ketchup smeared on my sleeve from this morning’s breakfast and what if owing to all this I cannot look you in the eye, my VC buddy?
- No stare or glare: I might be doing a lot of other things while talking to you. If I don’t look right into your eyes, you will complain because I just ignored you, because I’m doing my chores while talking to you, because I have a life and routine that I love to follow, because I don’t have all the time in the world to stare at the screen non-stop with things piling on my head!
- Tired of smiling: A VC at the business front is imperative at times. But dude, we’re not talking work here. Yes, we are talking FT (or Face-Time/Feared-Time/Fiery-Time) or Skype time and the likes – where you see me smiling, but ouch my cheeks hurt! Can I dawn a poker-face while I talk to you please?
- Being caught off-guard: My head tells me to turn that video tab off and resume what I was doing. I’m just not ready, I’m doing things I don’t want you to know… but my emotions take the better of me!
VC inventions to the present times:
Whoever invited VCs did a brilliant thing of reaching out to our loved ones at special occasions for living those moments with them. Whoever made video chats a mandate, let me remind you voice calls can happen too brother! What happened to the video-sharing feature? Remember, there is an option right next to the camera icon to make a video of yourself and share it with your folks, the videos that you can view at your convenience when you want and not want I want you to view them.
I’m not all against VCs. All I’m saying is don’t make it a societal mandate guys. Come meet me if you really miss me so much! What happened to the other relatively less intrusive modes of chatting; the days of the famous SMS and chats and voice messages which you used to send at unearthly hours and patiently wait for me to respond to?
Come next week and as I turn my calendar leaf again, I realize it’s just a Saturday! I can sip some coffee wearing my dirty shorts, I can tidy up my sheets when I want to and I can move around in my house and veranda the way I want to. I can sit outside and soak up the sun, take a walk with my ears plugged ‘coz come Sunday and I might get caught off guard! I might end up receiving a VC when I just won’t be prepared for it. And will I pick it? Well, maybe! Who’s gonna take the pains of returning calls, explaining why I couldn’t take their ‘call’. I thought ‘call’ had a different meaning all together, but that’s another chapter to discuss.
“I move away, I don’t wanna be caught off guard,
It’s a video call from my family and friends so far;
I flip through my cheat-chits, oh what excuse do I give,
For avoiding a video call is a sin, I seek to forgive!”
How comfortable are you with video calls? Which category would you put yourself into?…